Thanks to my sister, I came across a great blog today with a great post about Facebook and "slacktivism."
I read it, and I cried a little. The words were so eloquent, so true, so poignant. They said something I've been trying to express for months now, if not longer. Your games, your silly "secret" statuses about bra sizes and holidays/vacations, your, "if you care about [insert cause of your choice here], you'll repost this," statuses, they're useless! Beyond that, they're insulting, they're counterproductive and the insinuations make the people who post them seem rather ignorant.
I know that this isn't what people want to hear. They want to hear that survivors love those posts, that they make us feel warm and fuzzy inside. I may not be able to speak for all cancer patients, but I can speak for myself, and I can say that I have spoken to others who feel the same way - it pisses us off. You want to show support? Send me an email or a personal message telling me you're thinking of me. You want to raise awareness? Post a link to one of the websites that explains how to screen and be screened for different cancers.
I know - it's easier to cut and paste a status that pops up in your newsfeed. But really, what good comes of taking the easy - the lazy - way out? And what does that say to the people that you're supposedly doing this "in honor" of? I'll tell you what it tells me - that you care more about how you look like you're supporting all these worthy "causes" than actually supporting any causes. And your appearances really don't help anyone but you.
Seriously, please, I beg of you - stop re-posting these ridiculous statuses. No, I won't delete you from my friends list for repeatedly committing such a hurtful (and it is. It really is.) transgression. But I will realize that, while I'm closer to cancer than I hope you will ever have to be, I probably won't be turning to you for support.
6 comments:
While I do not disagree with a single word you say. I think you are missing the point of the re-posts and many of the other things.
The reason people do those thing really is not to support the ones needing comfort. In reality is them trying to make themselves feel better.
They do it with the grief and loss in my life as well. "She is in a better place." Is just a crock of shit that the person saying that is trying to justify their discomfort. They are trying to comfort themselves.
I don't just think of most of this as slacktivism. I think of much of it as being self centered. I am going to say something to make myself feel better. If I do that then I can feel better about myself because I have supported my friends, my family and all the other people who have . Horse Hockey!
To support friends and family all you need to do is call, write, listen, and maybe stop by with a pizza now and again. You cannot fix it but you can be a good friend.
So consider this Dear Friend a special note of encouragement to keep posting to your blogs. Consider this me taking a small effort to say that I mostly agree with you and that you are loved and cared about. (I would call but you don't like the phone.)
But that's just it - that's exactly what slacktivism is - doing something that requires little to no effort, does nothing to further the cause you are supposedly supporting, all for the purpose of trying to make yourself look (and feel, but really, does anyone actually feel any better about themselves afterwards?) better. It's all about appearances, and it's hurtful.
And thank you. I know you love and care - you're one of the few who tell me on a regular basis!
"They do it with the grief and loss in my life as well. "She is in a better place." Is just a crock of shit that the person saying that is trying to justify their discomfort. They are trying to comfort themselves. "
Yeah, I know. A better place would be home, with you.
And I get (as we have discussed repeatedly) that people say these things, too, because they're uncomfortable dealing with the loss and such, but that really doesn't take the sting out, does it?
It's like the people who try to tell me I have the "good" cancer. Bullshit. There is no "good" cancer. There's cancer that kills you slowly, cancer that kills you quickly, cancer you learn to live with and cancer that just makes life miserable. Three guesses which I'm considering mine right now (hint - I'm actually in better spirits than some posts may suggest!).
I guess that cancer is a lot like extreme grief. You don't get over it. You just learn to live with it. Some days are good and other days not so good.
Well. Said. And yeah, slactivism is a fantastic word, isn't it? It isn't about doing anything.
You keep fighting, girl. I'm keeping you in my thoughts!!!!
Wendy
(alittlec)
Thanks, Wendy!
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